Whether you and your ex fought about money, faced the challenge of infidelity or had a contentious battle for custody, you have survived your high-conflict divorce. However, if you and your ex share custody, there is a new challenge ahead of you: figuring out how to share the responsibilities of parenthood.
When you disagree, stay calm.
After a stressful divorce, it can be easy to get caught up in old conflicts while trying to co-parent. It is also easy to have relatively minor disagreements about bedtimes, discipline and other daily parenting concerns become a much bigger issue. However, keeping calm may allow you to communicate your points more effectively and potentially find common ground.
If you and your ex have difficulty communicating peacefully, consider using emails or a co-parenting app to document your communication and to communicate without the need to speak face-to-face.
Don’t put your children in the middle.
Even small comments about your ex can put your children in the middle of your conflict. Instead of venting your frustrations to your children, speak to your family, friends or therapist about the conflict you experience.
Know when to fight back.
If your spouse makes decisions about your child’s healthcare or schooling without discussing them with you, keeps you from having the full amount of parenting time you deserve or does not pay their child support, it may be time to push back. While having your parenting rights enforced by going to court is an option, this can escalate the conflict further. Instead of pushing for court intervention, speak to your ex first about your concerns or work with a mediator to resolve your conflict.
Focus on doing what is right for your kids.
Just as your child custody arrangement with your spouse is based on what is best for your child, your parenting plan needs to give them the support that they need. Continued conflict can impact your children for years to come, and finding a way to parent effectively with your ex is one of the best ways to give your children the loving, supportive and happy home they deserve.
