Doing what’s best for your children during a divorce can be challenging because you have so much to balance. Ideally, you and your ex can become a parenting team so everything is a little easier for everyone.
There are a few things that you should remember during the divorce. All these can help reduce stress while everyone adjusts to the new way of life.
#1: Never set unrealistic expectations
The children will focus on the expectations you set at the start of the divorce. Don’t give in to the temptation to let them get away with behavior you won’t allow long-term. Set the rules now to help them adjust better.
#2: Quit worrying about material things
Kids have a lot to think about when they’re living between two homes. Instead of trying to get them to pack everything up for every transition, ensure they have at least basic necessities at both homes. This way, they can only bring what they want back and forth.
#3: Avoid having the kids spy on your ex
Your ex will have a new life after the divorce. Never try to have your children spy on them. Instead, encourage the relationship they have with their other parent. No child should ever have to worry about one parent being jealous of the other.
#4: Stop negative communication
Badmouthing your ex isn’t ever a good idea. Focus on the positive aspects of the situation. Even if you don’t like things your ex is doing, don’t use the kids to vent to. You should only speak up if the kids’ health or safety are in danger.
#5: Don’t try to take the focus off the children
The children must remain the focus of the parenting relationship. Never try to make decisions based on what’s more difficult for your ex or easier for you. Only do what’s best for the children.
Taking the time to get the parenting plan set quickly when you divorce is beneficial. The agreement must reflect what the kids need right now. As they mature and their needs change, you can modify the plan so it meets those needs.