When parents in Illinois decide to divorce or legally separate, they generally have to work together to support their children. Parents either negotiate with one another or go to court to divide their parental rights and responsibilities. Each parent typically gets to spend a certain amount of time with the children and may have a say in major decisions about their upbringing.
Unfortunately, even when a parent has an order making them responsible for their children, they may not show up as scheduled. How can one parent handle a scenario where the other doesn’t consistently fulfill their parental responsibilities?
By documenting the issue
Before a parent can take action about repeated violations of a parenting plan, they first have to establish that those violations have occurred. They can do so by documenting each time a co-parent fails to show up for their children or shortens their parenting sessions with little advance warning. The more frequently one parent deviates from the allocation of parental rights and responsibilities, the more likely the other parent is to succeed when trying to address the issue. Those who can establish a history of canceled and shortened parenting sessions have that address their concerns with their co-parent.
By discussing the issue calmly
When one parent has not fulfilled their parental responsibilities by showing up to spend time with their children, the other may want to give them an opportunity to correct that issue. They can offer makeup parenting time as a way to preserve the parent-child relationship. Sometimes, looking at objective information about the number of canceled parenting sessions can motivate one adult to show up more consistently for their children. If they don’t make any noteworthy changes in their behavior, that it may be necessary to take legal action.
By seeking a modification
A parent failing to show up for their children can cause psychological harm through their actions. Children tend to internalize the conduct of their parents in a shared custody scenario. They may take it personally when one parent doesn’t use their scheduled parenting time. Their feeling of rejection can lead to depression and withdrawal from other social relationships.
Parents seeking to mitigate the damages that family conflict causes for their children may want to adjust their custody orders. By requesting a modification, one parent can reduce the other’s time with the children to reflect how often they actually visit. That can potentially diminish the negative psychological consequences the children experience. They have fewer opportunities to feel disappointed and rejected.
Recognizing a pattern of canceled parenting sessions can help one parent understand when they may need to adjust the allocation of parental responsibilities for their family. A modification can potentially reduce the stress on the parent who has more time with the children and the harm that canceled parenting time can cause to children.
