3 tips for limiting co-parenting conflict after a divorce

On Behalf of | Feb 3, 2025 | Custody |

Working cooperatively to raise children is not easy. Parents have to fully commit themselves to putting the best interest of their children first. After all, it is only natural for those who were previously in a romantic relationship with one another to struggle to work together and to set their personal feelings aside.

However, working together is exactly what co-parenting adults need to do when they share parental rights and responsibilities after a breakup or divorce. There are certain ways that parents can seek to limit conflict as they co-parent. The three tips below can help families keep things peaceful.

1. Keep communication written and child-focused

Verbal interactions, either face-to-face or over the phone, create opportunities for conflict. Many adults adjusting to co-parenting responsibilities use specialized apps for maintaining the household schedule and communicating.

Doing so makes it easier to keep track of any adjustments to the schedule and to promote calm, written communication. When there is a clear record of what people say, they are less likely to go off-topic or make things personal.

2. Clarify as much as possible beforehand

The more issues co-parents have to negotiate on the fly as they arise, the more opportunities there are for unnecessary conflict. Parents can reasonably predict certain types of issues arising in the future.

They may have to talk about what sports their children join or what grades they achieve. They may have to decide when older children can join social media, take driver’s training or have their own phones. By establishing certain standards ahead of time and agreeing to maintain the same rules at both households, parents can limit opportunities for disagreements.

3. Internally highlight a co-parent’s positive qualities

People often maintain a negative opinion of their co-parents. It is easy to focus on negative details, such as late arrivals or the use of a terse tone when texting. However, people can usually identify positive traits in their co-parents regardless of how difficult their interpersonal relationship is.

Their dedication to always calling the children to say good night or their ability to pick out the perfect birthday present are positive traits to keep in mind. As people start viewing co-parents as teammates working to help the children rather than adversaries, they may eventually cultivate a healthier and more positive dynamic with one another.

Trying to establish a healthy co-parenting dynamic takes commitment and hard work. Parents who consistently put their children first may avoid unnecessary disputes that could prove traumatizing for their children.

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